Life with Hair

For so long I have shaved my head. I have always figured that if my hair is thinning, then God must want me bald. I have always enjoyed my shaved head because it affords me the luxuries those with hair can't relate to. Things such as: smaller shampoo bill, no combing, no bed-head (yet there still are sheet streaks), stocking hats fit like velcro, I don't pay to have my hair cut, and the list could go on.
However, I recently asked my beautiful wife if I could be in the latest play she is directing. It is Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." Both Sadie and Emma are in it and the entire cast is made up of many of my high school students (the entire play in being done by our church and the cast and crew are all between the ages of 10 and 18). Rene' said I could be in the show and she wanted me to play Jacob, the dad to all of these kids. I was pretty excited, however she told me that I needed to grow my hair and beard. Uggggghhhh. I haven't grown my hair in years let alone grow my hair and my beard. So I have.
I had forgotten what it is to wake up and have half of my hair flat and the other half looking like I had a bad hair gel experience. Forgotten was what it feels like to have your hair blow in the wind (as well as my beard). It is all coming back... and I can't wait to shave my head again! I have not cut my hair or shaved in over 2 months and I still have about 2 more to go. My idol at the present time is John the Baptist.
I am now being called "mountain man" and "Grizzly Adams." Some have even told me that they would like to send me a housewarming present for my new cave (thanks Pete!). I am hearing it all.
Don't get me wrong, there are people who look great with long hair and beards. I used to.... But even though I still think I look great, I prefer to shave my head.
Enjoy the picture.

Wes Disney

We recently went to Walt Disney World and I bought Wes a present. I made him wear the present and let me take his picture. He protested, then let me. Honestly he had no choice... I bought breakfast.
Here is the picture.

Hidden Agenda

I continue to be amazed by people. I know that might sound strange since I have been working with them for so long, but like I said, I continue to be amazed by them. Here is what I am talking about.
They say that "information is power" meaning the one holding the information is holding the power. What gets me is that there is still a lot of perceived power even when there is no information present. People will ask me questions about something that is going on in my life or at church and the honest answer is "there is nothing to report, because I know nothing." Almost instantly I will get a look of "oh sure, you just aren't going to tell me... you are going to hold it over me."
Now as much as I would like to be in the loop on all things, that just isn't the case. Most of the time I am truly clueless.
I think that perhaps sometimes we need to hold on to the integrity of individuals allowing ourselves the assumption that if they are not telling me something when I ask, that they truly don't know. instead we hold them and ourselves hostage by the thoughts that someone is withholding information from me. Or perhaps, they honestly can't say anything, not because they are trying to withold the information, but because there are more people at stake than just the two in the conversation.
I don't know, just some random thoughts I have had lately as I prepare to transition jobs. People ask me what is going on and I tell them it's progressing slowly. I ususally get the look of "you are holding something from me." I hope I am perceiving people wrong, but I don't think I am. Look, I like to hav the inside scoop too, but sometimes that scoop is empty; there is no hidden agenda.

the last camp...

I just finished up, a week ago, our annual summer Xcursion. I went in knowing that this was going to be my last camp and I told myself that I wouldn't get emotional, yet I did one time. Whenever I speak of the trials of leading Raft Rally 1993 (the shot put to the head year), coupled with the knowledge that my student ministry days are nearing a close caused me to start to tear up one morning.
This year I did something I have never done. I spoke in the morning, telling some of the best camp moments I have witnessed and tying biblical truth into each talk. It was fun, but I have to say that after this camp, I am not so sure that it will be the last. I am getting a lot of (good) pressure to do another one. The high from this year, mainly because of the quality of students that went, has been incredible and I have found some good self worth in preparing and leading events such as this. So... although I am not sure that I will ever lead a camp for high school students ever again, I am not completely ruling it out in the future.

Why it's worth it.

Sometimes I wonder if doing the work of ministry in a local church is worth it??? Here is waht I mean, and, allow me to whine a little.
It is long hours and if you are student ministry (as opposed to "big" church ministry), weird hours that take you away from your family and friends. In the fall, my friends get together to watch championship football on certain Sunday afternoons, I get to be there for an hour and then go to the church.
I spend the majority of my Sunday's at church, which makes sense since I am a pastor. The difficulty is knowing that while I am at church, my family is at home. In the summer's this isn't bad because my day off is Friday and my kids won't be in school, but during school, we get one day together. I also end up working a lot of evenings. But my adult life has always been this way.
A also enjoy (tongue in cheek) having my life evaluated by my peers based on the attitudes, feelings, and/or opinions of a 16 year old. I think constantly of how to connect with those I don't connect very often with, but sometimes it just isn't enough. Parents can be demanding (and trust me, I am a demanding one as well) and often hold the student ministries pastor to "Superhuman" status because they desperately want their kids to connect with the church, ministry and Jesus. I can only do so much, at some point it becomes a personal choice of each individual that I as a student ministries pastor have no control of.
As I have gotten older, I have had to stop parents who are vocalizing their disapproval of me, and remind them that I am not in high school, I love their kids, and I am older than they are. This takes them aback for them to realize that you don't have to be young to relate.
In all of this, though, it is not a thankless job. Not at all. I can't count how many parents, friends, and students have thanked me for all that I do. It truly is a lot. In my desk I have a file of all of the "not-so-nice" communications I have received in my 22 years of ministry but as thick as that file is (and it is thick), it is only a fraction of the responses I get that continue to encourage me.
When I was hitting my mid-thirties, I started wondering if ministry was worth it. I mean some deep level thinking for me. I had a huge ministry and we were having lots of fun, but were we building the kingdom? My answer has come a various points through the years. I can't tell you how many times I have received e-mails about former students who are making a difference in their world. They hold on to the truth found in the Gospel and spread it around. Blogs, myspace, facebook; these have all helped me see the impact that one ministry can have. People involved in their churches, reaching out to the people around them. Stuff that touches the heart of a man who has poured his life into his ministry.
Then, you get it. A phone call, an e-mail, a letter (remember, I started ministry before there was e-mail) that let's you know what someone is doing and the role I had in getting them there. It is worth it, and will continue to be. When yesterday, a former student who is now in college, emails me and asks if she can come in and "catch up." She wants to know what is going on and wants me to know what is going on with her. It is worth it! When two former students (from my first years in ministry) take me out to breakfast before I move to Iowa, to show me pictures of their families and tell me of their involvement in the community and church. It is worth it.
It is worth it. (I just need to remind myself of "why" once in a while)